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I want to become a victim
I don’t care of what
just as long as I survive it long enough to spend all the money…
Allow me to lay it out…
I want to be compensated for being a victim…
I want a government check bi weekly
I want it signed by the Treasurer…
and direct deposited to my account…
I want one check for being born with all ten fingers and toes…
and another check for living past the age of twenty one
I want rent control or a habitat for humanity house for free
as long as I don’t have to pay it’s alright by me…
Add to that a Veterans package
with hospitalization and complete dental…
Throw in free prescription drugs…and I’ll be happy
And while you’re at it…
Food stamps should be good for purchasing Jack Daniels
Gas should be free for anyone driving a compact car
our insurance should be paid by the good hands people…
Replace Marlboros with high grade Marijuana…
that’s how the government can make the extra money
to give me the retirement package I require
when I get off of Disability and Unemployment
But back to my primary proposal and why I deserve all of this…
I’m an American…and I have a right…
To be a victim just like everyone else in this world!

2007 © T Sheridan